No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
