all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
