I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
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