You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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