Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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