What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
