And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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