grandma shit on top of the toilet
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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