maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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