How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
