I'm going to jail i love you
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
