we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
