that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
