I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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