Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i came on her dog
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
