a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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