I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize