guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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