Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
