Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
