Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
