dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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