Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
