is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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