I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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