Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
