I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
