This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
