Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize