You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
