She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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