chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
