I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
