Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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