I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
