Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
did i just pee glitter
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