Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
