When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
