The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
