So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
