Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
