I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
