That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
third nipple confirmed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
