I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
