So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
