I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
then he tried to convert me to islam
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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