Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
