i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
