Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
