shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
