ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
