I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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