Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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