the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
