You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
