Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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