You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
