Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
