a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Fuck appropriateness.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
