he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
