woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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