Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
