I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
literally had 100 drinks last night.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
