also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
