How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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