We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
