hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
