Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
worst night to have a conscience
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
