one might say we're banned from that church
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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