Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
