Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
