How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
