I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
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