Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
