can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
