These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
